Hillary Clinton – just because

Hill finally returned my call. She made me wait an hour. Is she out of her mind? She started to stutter out an apology but I cut her off and gave her both barrels.

“Hill, I sent you to Foggy Bottom as a favor to Bill. He said he needed, um, I mean you needed to get out of the house. Yes, I know you were in the Senate. That’s not the point! The point is, I’m out of Cohibas and its your fault. Do you expect me to smoke Hondurans?? You assured me that the next diplomatic pouch from Ottawa would have my Cubans in it. Jesus Christ! That’s the reason we have an embassy in Canada, Hill! Hasn’t anyone explained that to you yet? Ever since you took over the entire system has broken down. People are calling it Soggy Bottom cuz it stinks! Get me my cigars! Send Bo’s plane. He’s not using it.

“Another thing, why didn’t you show up for your date with Kim Jong-il? I promised him a date with a First Lady and Laura is shacked up in a Cabana in Dallas, with some Swedish tennis pro. I need you at the plate for this one, Hill. Do you want that little pecker head lighting off another one of his junior fart bombs? I don’t care if he creeps you out! Take a couple of Xanax with some JD. That’s what Laura does. I don’t care what it takes, but you get your ass over there and “love him long time” or I’ll find a Secretary of State who will, are we clear?” Click!.

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